Life With My Silver Lining

She only told me what I already thought.. If he went through a solicitor then the courts, he would get access. But chances are he won’t make that much effort & just give up. (Here’s hoping)
I can’t have him do that again to Riley again. Last time broke my heart when Riley asked where his daddy was and I had to tell him he wasn’t coming, seeing my little boy break down in tears like that all because that dickhead couldn’t be assed to spend some time with his son! Makes me so bloody angry.
He had his chance and he blew it. He was warned that it was his last chance but he’s back again wanting one more.
He’s so bloody selfish, he doesn’t care about Riley, he doesn’t give a toss about what this would do to his head. All he cares about is that He wants to see his son, a couple of months down the line he’ll get bored and few up again and let him down all over again and I’ll be the one who has to pick up the pieces.
IT’S NOT FUCKING FAIR!!

So nervous!!!

Got an appointment with a solicitor today to see where I stand.. I’m so bloody nervous! Everyone that iv spoke to says that he doesn’t have a leg to stand on and I seriously hope that’s true but I need to hear it being said from someone who knows what they’re talking about!

Riley- can u put my trousers on? I can’t do it.
Me- you can do it, you’ve done it before.
Riley- I can’t! My hands are to strong.. To little and strong.
Lmao!

I hate not being able to sleep. Got so much going on in my head, stuff that I really don’t want to have to think about. I’m tempted to take a sleeping tablet but I don’t want to sleep most of tomorrow like I did today.
Today I woke up at 11, fell back asleep at 2 and dozed on & off until 6. Poor Riley was so good and just watched DVDs and gave me cuddles. I felt so bad though as I’d not seen him in over a day (my mum had him for 2 nights)
Hopefully il feel better tomorrow and make it up to him.

Riley- I love it!
Me- what do u love?
Riley- that summer is here, it’s here in our garden. It’s coming from the sky!
☀
My little boy is so cute!!

Spending the day in bed watching lost cause I’m ill. My mums had Riley since last night & she’s having him again tonight. I’m missing him heaps but it is nice to have some time to myself & just stay in bed.
I can’t decide whether I’m ill or just stressed. I’ve had a headache for days now and nothing will put it away.
Riley’s ‘dad’ got in contact just after Riley’s birthday telling me he’s wanting contact or he’s going to take me to court. I can’t believe it! After all the chances he’s had and fucked up. He thinks he can take me to court.